i am not myself.
i am a bit unhappy.
these curveballs are making me nuts.
need to find some peace in my life.
not sure where to start.
miss this little, blogging community.
i would blog more but i hate admitting weakness.
and as of late, i am very weak.
my posts are not always fluffy.
they are not kid-filled.
no interesting diy projects.
i'm not living my life to the fullest.
because i am tired. very very very tired.
and a bit sad.
no motivation. a bit angry. confused.
why so much loss? why?
did i choose the right career? i love cooking professionally. i love learning, but i'm not
learning anything new. i am just going through the motions.
maybe restaurant life isn't for me? it's hard work. its dedication.
and i am no spring chicken.
i don't want to be a 35-40 year old cook. i want to have ideas and see them through.
i dunno. i am lost.
i want my "me" back.
17 comments:
We love reading your posts for all that you are, not what you're not :) LOVE the new design!
I know you might not feel this way, but I find you super inspiring! To decide that you want to be a chef and then go for it, and then be successful at it? I think that is so impressive. I'm still floundering around trying to figure it all out. I thought by now I'd be more established in a career, and instead, I'm in yet another job that is a very good but that I have no real interest in whatsoever. I know I certainly don't want to work in a corporate environment the rest of my life, but I have no idea what my next step is to change that. So I think you're ahead most of us! :)
Oh girl...I know it's not much but I'm sending you hugs!! Lots of hugs!!!
*hugs* Love you Summer. I wish I could give you some strength.
My Sum-Sum you are you! Always have been always will be beautiful, funny, sweet, mustache, cupcake loving, kitty loving, you! You haven't changed. We are just being hit with a lot of curve balls. A lot! I to have struggled with what to right for us Summer's are bubbly and funny and full of life and we are always there for everyone else it is so hard to accept the help from others when we need it! YOu know we need to Summer Power up get through this shizit me get in remission you have a baby brownie and I will see you in NYC in the fall as my remission pressie and toting all kinds of baby gifts for your baby shower for I just know this is our year. As for the career thang, you will know if it's not for you, and I know my Sum-Sum if it isn't you will just go and find you something, maybe a cake baking show on the TLC Channel, I just know you can be the next cake boss! I love you mush
I wouldn't read your blog if it was like that. The real Summer is good enough! Life's ridiculous most of the time, but remember to breathe!
Just know that we are all here for you no matter what! I hope you find some peace soon. You deserve it, and more! Love you girl!
Lovely girl,
I love you. My heart hurts because you feel the way you do. I have no answers, nothing to take the pain away or magically give you what you want and deserve. I can only say I love you, I'm here, and we're ALL on your side. You have strength beyond measure, beauty beyond surface, passion and commitment to follow your dreams beyond most, and an unwavering hope that even in your most hopeless moments, shines through and keeps you going. I will never give up believing that you will have your happily ever after. I wish I could do or say more. I love you.
xoxo-Katie
losing yourself is hard...i feel like i've done it slowly, and i'm just waiting to figure out what's next!!
Summer, your posts are real! They are from the heart. I don't know about everyone else, but I would rather read a post that is real rather than someone lying and talking about their lives being full of rainbows and puppy dogs! You are who you are, whether it's, sad, happy, tired, angry, so-fed-up with shit. You are REAL! Life sucks at times and you just keep getting thrown these damn curveballs! But, I know that you will be a mom, you will become everything you have ever wanted! You don't have to be a spring chicken to make your dreams come true! There are people out there that are in their 60's and they are moving on to different careers, heading different directions in their life. The blogging community is a great community if you can find the right people out there! Find others that are real and that can relate to you. Here some stories and lean on people when you are feeling down. You don't have to go through all these struggles alone!
Keep your head up little lady! Reach out when you feel like you are down!! We are all here to help you back up and help you get through those damn curve balls!!
Love ya lady!!
summer, getting up everyday and doing as much as your heart, body and mind will let you is an accomplishment in itself. take each day as it comes and I hope that each day gets a little easier.
Oh Sum. I hate admitting weakness too, but sometimes admitting it just makes it go away, you realise that you've worried so much about being weak that the worrying itself is the weakness, not how you're really feeling? Does that make sense? Haha, I do pick my places for deep thinking don't I.
Have I told you my word of the year? Its alleviate... I NEED to get rid of the bad things in my life and figure out what I really want from it and I don't think I can until I've accepted that I'm sad and pissed off too. I think thats ok though, so is being unmotivated, it just means that you haven't quite found that thing that effortlessly motivates you yet... I haven't found it yet either, I don't even know what it could be.
anyway, much love to you as always, I do think that things will get better x
Sending you positive vibes girl!! Don't be down on yourself! You are wonderful!
xx
b
Summer, take a break. Take a step back, maybe a vacation, and just let yourself dream about what you want your life to be. Rest. And then go make it happen. Don't forget to tell all of us what the dream is and we will help you. But first, rest. Someplace sunny.
I'm with you. And for the past 7 years I've been doing the same thing everyday and some days I think why? But then I try and remind myself all of the opportunities my career has given me and try to convince myself that all the great things I've done would not be possible with said career. And people suck everywhere so.... LOL
Kristen
www.beholdthemetatron.com
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way my sweet Sum Sum. I miss you terribly & wish I could hug you and lay on couches/beds with you and talk till you feel better. It's tough facing these major struggles, and you've weathered a lot. But you are SO LOVED.
SUMMER! omg that is so funny, i was indeed at the dutch the other night!! and it was super delicious. i had the chicken, my dad had the pappardelle (i kept stealing bites of it...) that is so awesome that you work there!! i'll bring the kitchen a case of beer if i go back soon :-)
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